Wondering...

Ever since I went out with my mom for lunch at a local restaurant and saw my ex, I've been wondering what in the world was going on.

It was Labor Day, and anyone else would have stayed the heck home instead of driving all the way up here. As far as I know, he isn't in contact with his old buddy who lives a few towns away from mine (good thing, too - but that's another story), so that's off of my mental list of possibilities. Yes, it's possible that he wants me back, but this would only be because his little "girlfriend" in the Philippines probably dumped him after she figured out that she doesn't need to be abused and generally disrespected, much less by someone she's never even met.

I hadn't cleaned up the house in a few weeks from writing and other projects, and the downstairs plumbing had done it's best to mess up my floor downstairs, so if he came to my house before he went to the restaurant, he would have seen a totally abandoned yard (not mowed, bushes not trimmed) and if he looked inside, it would have looked like a disaster area. Not exactly what he would want to see (remember, he's the guy to whom I'd accurately said, "You don't want a wife. You want a maid, a cook and a dog."). So, the funny part about this (if he did stop by) is that for once me taking a break from trying to keep the house clean has been to my advantage!

The third option is that his mother is ill/dying and asking for me. I hope she's not in either of these conditions, but it's possible. She asked for me when she had her stroke about 5 or 6 years back. I would like to see her again before she departs, but I doubt that will happen. When she asked for me, the whole family rushed in, as if she couldn't possibly be asking to see just me for a change.

My ex didn't seem like he'd seen me or my mom. He walked casually out of the restaurant and sat on a bench. He sat there for almost five minutes, then left. I don't know why he sat there, except perhaps he was deciding what to do next. Chances are, he'd talked himself out of doing the right thing (whatever that would have been at the moment). He was so good at choosing the wrong path at just about every intersection. It was a case of, "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, well I just did what I thought was best for me." I haven't seen him since.

But it's just as well, I was very nervous and kind of scared at seeing him again. I went home, locked the doors and felt much better. Fortunately we're not talking plastic doors like the one he ripped off the hinges at the townhouse. That was the last time he saw me, and good riddance. I was not about to put up with that nonsense. It was bad enough I'd tried to make the marriage work for almost a decade.

So since then, as my mind likes things to be settled, I have been trying to settle the issue. Trying to figure out what in the world was going on that day. There's hardly any use in trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. I've come to the conclusion that Ms. Philippine got tired of his crap and moved on, so he needed someone else to abuse in order to make himself feel better. That's what he does, after all. It's sick and sad and no longer my problem. Whew!